Orgasmatron is a short story by Jack Rusher, published here Friday, February 06, 2004. It is part of Stories.
The diary of a satisfied consumer.
Day 1
Our new robotic parts arrived in the mail yesterday. We could barely contain our excitement as we unpacked the crates and retrieved our prosthetic betterments.
The shipment included a Pile Driver 2100™ sacroiliac replacement, a slightly used but fully warranted self lubricating hydraulic vice vagina, a matched pair of vibrating gluteal implants and a telescoping pneumatic penis enhancer.
The quality of these after-market parts is stunning and installation was a snap.
Week 2
On our anniversary we surprised each other with a matching set of Eyes of the Beholder™ — the generic models aren’t nearly as effective — and we’ve never looked better. It was like a year in the gym for each of us, only better because we didn’t have to spend a year in the gym.
Month 3
Our intense satisfaction with our cybernetic sex toys has convinced us to purchase more. If we’ve learned one thing in this process, it’s a healthy respect for name-brand enrichments. Consequently, we’ve taken out a mortgage on the flat — after all, what price marital bliss? — and ordered an Oralator™ rotary tongue extension, a set of Pearl Necklace™ prehensile breast paddles, and a vintage Lube-o-Lux™ automatic jelly application system (the one with the shower head spray applicator).
Our sexuality is now the envy of the community. The neighbors have been complaining to the co-op board about the noise, but we know it’s only base jealousy.
As soon as we have the money we’re going to invest in a set of those new self-stimulating nervous system amplifiers, probably the Sexy Tech™ model — nothing’s too good for us.
Epilog
When the firemen broke down the door they found a pair of orgiastic automata, no longer possessed of any human parts, locked forever in gnashing, grinding, mechanical copulation.